I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
