I hate all girls vehemently.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you had me at cake vodka
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
