Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The air was thick with penises
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
