Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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