Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
