She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
