Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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