ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
