Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want her autograph on my taint
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
