Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
