He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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