Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
and she was petting her beer can
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
