Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
They have beer where we have blood.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize