He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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