I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
