maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
