is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
