She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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