it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
