shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
