3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
