i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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