She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize