my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
