i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
