So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Randomize
