I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
