Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
