My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
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