Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
