Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
