I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
