Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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