So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
