my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
