he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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