Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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