My first STD was from a foam party
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
