so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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