also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Who died my cat blue again?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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