Porn is love you can see.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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