Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
