im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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