Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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