Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize