Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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