let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
