I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
