marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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