I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
