super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
