i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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