but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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