you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
