she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
