Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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