So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
