Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize