We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
