What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
