shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
