I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
