Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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