I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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