I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
