i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize