halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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