I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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