what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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