Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
