So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
