My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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